Song #23 // Lisa LeBlanc, “Drop the Guy ASAP” [Why You Wanna Leave, Runaway Queen?]

Those who have been reading this list of songs over the years know that I’m a sucker for Canadian artists, especially French-Canadian artists who sing in a unique dialect that has been breathed in through cigarette smoke and spit back out through chattering teeth.

So it should come as no surprise that I’m including Lisa LeBlanc here this year. Her album title is completely indicative of the type of writer she is and the type of humo(u)r she brings to her tight musicianship. It’s not enough to say she’s quirky or sassy. No. She’s simply Canadian. French-Canadian, no less. It all makes more sense up there.

So instead of sullying her growing reputation stateside with my little reflections on memories or regret of woe-is-meism I’m instead reprinting the lyrics of this song below. They’re wonderful: funny, honest, clever, and direct. We still have much to learn from our friends up north.

I won’t say it to your face
So I’ll write a song about it
I won’t say it to your face
So I’ll write a song about it
 
I love you like a sister
I love you like a sister
I mean, come on
We’ve been friends this long
I love you like a sister
So I watch you like a hawk
Sorry but I just can’t help it
So when you talk about him
And tell me the things that he tells you
And the stuff he pulls off
The red flags are a-poppin’
The alarms are a-ringin’
I can’t say I’m his number one fan
You call me to rant and it’s totally fine
We’ve both seen each other’s ugly cry
It’s none of my business, but it kinda is
’Cause you talk to me about it all the time
And I understand that you love him and I respect that
But I kinda want to punch him in the balls
 
Wouldn’t it be lovely if you’d just dump the guy ASAP?
Wouldn’t it be lovely if you’d just dump the guy ASAP?
We’ll throw a big party
I’ll buy the balloons and the booze
There’ll be a buffet of Kleenex
We’ll be ready for the grand ol’ cryfest
Ice cream, Nutella, and chips
You name it, I got it
But until that day comes
I’ll listen and wait patiently
And tell myself: Wouldn’t it be lovely if you’d just dump the guy ASAP?
Wouldn’t it be lovely if you’d just dump the guy ASAP?

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